This is a skit that we have been performing at gatherings across the country since Samhain of '92. I usually pay the part of Joe and the other person plays Theo. We dress in casual street clothes with one exception. Theo (the other performer) wears a Styrofoam cross and I (Joe) wear a Styrofoam pentagram. Both items are painted gold and have a loop of cord to allow placing over the head so they sit in front of the chest like absurdly large jewelry. Both are kept hidden during the Intro, and are then are discretely slipped over the head. The story begins with a short 'serious' introduction to set the mood. If you would like to hear it, click the hot buttons to hear how it sounds.
INTRODUCTION BY JOE:
"There comes a time in a persons life where a friend, or perhaps a close
acquaintance, takes a path different from yours. You go one way and they go
another. With out realizing it, each of you have separated and have taken your
own direction oblivious to the path of the other. Then, one day, you each pass
each other, initially not recognizing the other person. Then, as you pass each
other, an old memory begins to solidify from the distant past and you remember
that old friend."
(Joe and Theo each slip the pentagram over their heads while Joe is saying to the audience still in a serious tone that by now is rapidly slipping away. Theo and Joe face each other separated by about 15 foot distance and begin to walk past each other as if passing on the street. After passing, both turn around in slow recognition of the other person.)
JOE:
"Yo, dude!"
THEO:
"Hello, Joe, what I hear about you, bein' a witch and dancin' naked too!
Somthin 'bout a fire, I called the guy a liar!
You ain't that kinda guy and I know you don't lie.
But then I hear a story, the story get all gory.
What's all this I hear about you killin' all them chickens?"
JOE:
"Theo, my bro, don't believe all that you hear
Gonna tell you all, you got nothin to fear!
I got the Goddess and the God, I keep them right here.
I'm what they call a pagan, I'll tell you more again.
I got deities around, that bring me the sound
of the rhythm of the universe and the devas in the ground!"
THEO:
"My God, Joe! Why you pray to the devil?
You got a brain, gotta keep it level,
There's only one God, I saw him on the bus,
I worry 'bout you Joe, 'caus you ain't one of us.
Now that I'm talkin', I'm gonna keep on pickin'
'Caus I still wonder what you did with them chickens."
JOE:
"I got no chickens an' I got no devil,
Ain't got one God, I got several!
Got me a Maid, an' I got me a Mother,
I got me a Crone, and I got her brother.
By the mark of the rune, I dance with the Moon
And for more fun, I dance with the Sun
I make my circle and I raise my knife
I celebrate love, I celebrate life
So, what's you got that's half as good
As my Ishtar or my Man in the Wood?"
THEO:
"OK, Joe, I catch what you mean
You ain't lyin', you're commin' clean
What you say's sounds pretty good,
I'd like to join you if I could!
It would mean a lot to me to set my soul free.
This Christian stuff's got mighty slim pickins,...
(At this point, Theo stops as if he is lost in thought. Joe begins to turn away as if he thought the conversation was over, where upon, Theo responds with...)
So, when do I get my share of chickens?"